I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again.

And, I fell off the wagon again!

The good news is, I am back on it.

I'll start with a recap. I lost 50lbs between last summer and the beginning of this spring. However, I began eating poorly again. I was still going to the gym but my food choices were pretty bad. I began gaining some of the weight back. I kicked my butt back into gear and I am back at that 50 lbs mark.

I am at a standstill, AGAIN! I keep going up and down between the same 3 lbs. I hate these plateaus that I keep hitting. No matter how little I eat and how much I work out, I'm not loosing right now. GR! I went to my doctor to talk to him to see if maybe the problem was that I wasn't eating enough. He didn't seem to care that I was only getting 300 calories a day (after deducting my calories burned from working out). He said, if you burn more than you take in, you will loose weight. Maybe he's never heard of starvation mode. At the moment, I am convinced that that is what the issue is.

Today I am getting back into using myfitnesspal. I am going to work on eating around 1200 - 1300 (But no more) calories but keeping my carb intake under 50g. My husband and I used this app on our phone 2 years ago and it worked great! we both lost 30 lbs while using it (without exercise).

Some days I feel like I am a work horse and someone is dangling a carrot in front of my face. It's right within my grasp but no matter how much i walk towards it, I just can't grab it! I feel like I am so close to my goal but I can't get over this hump! I am only 40 lbs away. I lost is pretty easily the first time, I know I can do it again.

Even though I am at a stand still again, I still feel better about myself. A few years ago, we went to Holiday World with my in-laws. Grandpa and I were taking the kids on the Zinga. I know some of these rides have weight limits, but I did not expect to have to get on a scale before getting on the ride. The four of us stepped onto the giant scale and we were told that we would have to split up. I was mortified! I know where the extra weight came from. ME! I didn't want to ride anything else that day so I stayed with my husband in the kiddie pool and watched my youngest play. That trip was a big eye opener. I did not ever want to have to feel like that again. This past summer, we went back to holiday world. I may not be skinny, but I am a lot smaller than I was back then. I felt much better about myself while I was there. I felt like I could actually enjoy the park with my kids. It couldn't have come at a better time. My youngest is such a little man now. He didn't want to spend the whole day in the kiddie area (although he did want to play there a little). He wanted to ride the big rides. He could, he was tall enough. I didn't go back on the zinga but I did ride a lot of other rides.  My husband has the same fear at these parks that I do. We are scared that we are just to big. I am proud of him though. He bit the bullet and rode some of rides with the kids. I had a blast this year and can't wait to go back (hopefully another 40 lbs lighter this time).